She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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