i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
