my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
