They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
