I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
