lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
A bitchslap is in order.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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