I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
