I wish i was in the wii world.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize