Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
