Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
