I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just blew my weed a kiss
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
