The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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