people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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