We got so high we made milksteak
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Panties = found
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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