So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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