You're so nebulous sometimes
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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