he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
