Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We had sex on a dog bed..
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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