things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
