You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
