um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
