I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
