If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
