Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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