Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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