I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
