you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The best revenge is premature balding
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize