Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
