Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.

(323): View more from California

to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.

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(425): View more from Washington

I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.

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(845): View more from New York

you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic

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(512): View more from Texas

Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.

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