apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
