I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Blood and glitter go together right?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
