I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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