i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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