i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
