idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I skipped work to stalk him.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
