It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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