mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize