dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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