Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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