Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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