end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
