So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
