I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
