A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
