He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
