I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize