just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I will pee on everything he values.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
