Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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