Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
