my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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