remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
