That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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