Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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