There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
