How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
