Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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