so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
