In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
