I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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