I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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