I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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