Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
