The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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