So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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